


I Love Me

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Rock Star AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8235731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: Rockstar!AU. Rita is not happy that she's been asked to interview a popular rock star.





	

~ I Love Me ~

Rita Skeeter was _not_ happy that her writing talents were being wasted on some stupid puff piece about a popular wizard rocker. She'd argued with the editor-in-chief of the Daily Prophet when he'd given her this assignment, and he'd told her she would do it or she would be fired.

"How is this song even popular?" she griped as Gilderoy Lockhart's 'I Love Me' came on the radio again for the third time that hour.

" _You love me, baby,_  
_And that's how it should be._  
_Let me tell you something,_  
_I also... love ME!_ "

"Ugh," Rita groaned. "His voice isn't that great, he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, and the lyrics are absolutely awful. How does anyone actually _like_ this garbage?"

"Ah, well," one of her associates said hesitantly. "I guess you'll see when you meet him..."

The conversation trailed off awkwardly, and the only thing filling the silence was that thrice-cursed song.

" _You're pretty, sweetheart,_  
_And I can easily see,_  
_Why someone might like you,_  
_But I'm beyond gorgeous,_  
_And I really love me_."

* * *

Gilderoy Lockhart answered his door dressed in the flashiest galaxy-patterned robes that Rita had ever seen. And she had gone to Hogwarts while Dumbledore was headmaster. And that old man had _several_ sets of galaxy-patterned robes.

"You must be Miss Scooter," Lockhart said. When Rita did not immediately reply, he added, "From the Daily Prophet? Here to interview me?"

"Oh, yes. That's me," Rita replied, having been rendered much less eloquent than usual under the onslaught of the Wizading World's Most Charming Smile™. After a moment, she frowned and said, "It's Skeeter, actually. Rita Skeeter."

"That's what I said," Lockhart replied, his voice tinged with mild confusion - as though he honestly thought he'd gotten her name right the first time and she was the one in the wrong for mishearing it!

... and she was loathe to admit it, even to herself, but she had honestly forgotten her own name for a moment there. Now Rita understood what her co-worker had been getting at earlier. This Lockhart fellow might have a perfectly average singing voice and sub-par lyrics, but for a celebrity, putting on a good public image was half the battle, and he had enough in the looks department to make up for his lack of actual skill.

~end~


End file.
